The Mouth-Covering Gesture

Older people are harder to read than younger ones because they have less muscle tone in the face.

The speed of some gestures and how obvious they look to others is also related to the age of the individual. For example, if a five-year-old child tells a lie, he's likely to immediately cover his mouth with one or both hands.

THe act of covering the mouth can alert a parent to the lie and this Mouth-Covering gesture will likely continue thoughout the person's lifetime, usually only warying in the speed at which it's done.

When a teenager tells a lie, the hand is brought to the mouth in similar way to the five-year-old, but instead of the obvious hand-slapping gesture over the mouth, the fingers rub lightly around it.

The original Mouth-Covering gesture becomes even faster in adulthood. When an adult tells a lie, it's as if his brain instructs his hand to cover his mouth in an attempt to block the deceitful words, just as it did for the five-year-old and the teenager. But, at the last moment, the hand is pulled away from the face and a Node-Touch gesture Results. THis is simply an adult's version of the Mouth-Covering gesture that was used in childhood.

This shows how, as people get older, their gestures become more subtle and less obvious and is why it's often more difficult to read the getures of a fifty-years old than those of a five-year-old.

from: The Definitive Book of Body Language, Allan & Barbara Pease

The Critical Evaluation Signal

CRITICAL EVALUATION GESTURE cluster someone might use when they are unimpressed with what they are hearing.

The main Critical Evaluation signal is the hand-to-face gesture, with the index finger pinting up the cheek while another finger covers that this listener is having critical thoughts about what he hears is supported by the legs being tightly crossed and the arm crossing the body (defensive) while the head and chin are down (negative/hostile).

This body language 'sentence' says something like, "I don't like what you're saying" or "I dissagree" or "I'm holding back negative feelings."



taken from: The Definitive Book of Body Language, Allan & Barbara Pease

Uncertainty Reduction Theory

Kalau di bahasa indonesia-kan, mungkin artinya : "teori pengurangan ketidakpastian". Rancu juga siyh. makanya pakai istilah aslinya aja, URT [uncertentain reduction theory].

Ketika kita pertama kali bertemu orang, ada interest dalam diri kita untuk mengenal orang itu lebih jauh. Apa yg kita lakukan? PERTAMA, kenalan. KEDUA, tanya-tanya ini itu basa-basi. KETIGA, tukeran kontak, supaya bisa saling keep in touch lebih jauh. KEEMPAT dan seterusnya dan seterusnya ya 'tersderah anda' [hehe.. ;p]

Nah, tanpa kita sadari, sebenarnya dalam setiap kesempatan pertama kali kita ketemu orang, kita sudah menjalankan apa yang disebut uncertentain reduction theory ini [selanjutnya disingkat URT aja].

Teori URT ditemukan oleh Charles Berger dan para koleganya. dikatakan bahwa teori ini berhubungan dengan cara-cara kita mengumpulkan informasi tentang orang lain. teori ini berhubungan dengan cara-cara individu memantau lingkungan sosial mereka dan menjadi tahu lebih banyak tentang diri mereka sendiri dan orang lain.

Dua hal yang diperhatikan dalam teori ini adalah: kesadaran diri, dan pengetahuan tentang orang lain.

Singkat kata, saat kita pertama kali bertemu dengan orang lain, langkah-langkah yg kita lakukan adalah: Pasif - Aktif - Interaktif.

PASIF: observasional. mengamati. menduga-duga, pakai feeling atau apa pun itu, menebak-nebak "ini orangnya seperti apa ya? galak nggak ya? dari tampangnya kayaknya jutek, bla..bla..bla..." macam-macam dugaan lainnya.

AKTIF: si pengamat dituntut melakukan sesuatu untuk memperoleh informasi tersebut. misal, si A melihat si B tapi malu pengen kenalan, trus si A nanya ke si C yang sudah dikenalnya. si A menanyakan tentang si B, nanya nya ke si C. ribet ya bahasanya? hehe...ya.. loe naksir cewek tapi malu kenalan langsung, akhirnya lo nanya ke temen deket tu cewek deh yg notabene udah loe kenal. gituh singkatnya ;p

INTERAKTIF: berkomunikasi langsung dengan orang tersebut. Samperin, ajak kenalan, basa-basi, tukeran nomer hp, email, facebook, multiply, friendster, de el el...

Selanjutnya 'terserah anda'. maksudnya, ya setelah tahu lebih jauh, terserah kan komunikasinya mau dilanjutkan atau tidak..mau sedekat apa..dan sebagainya... itu nantinya akan mengalir begitu saja secara alami...